


never without you again

by thir13enth



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: M/M, i mean i'm mostly just making stuff up as i go, i needed more than just a few lines of exchange though, so forgive me if this conflicts with random bits of canon, you feel?, you know?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22812520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thir13enth/pseuds/thir13enth
Summary: Ashe can't sleep when a voice from his past keeps him up. Or maybe it's the sound of his thoughts.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc
Comments: 10
Kudos: 97





	never without you again

**Author's Note:**

> yeah yeah, so maybe i'm stretching soup from the little broth that we have in the dlc unique dialogues but whatever. i need this.
> 
> also special thanks to soulty for keeping me entertained on discord while also still making sure i actually wrote and didn't just chat my life away.

This time, Ashe is sure he is not just hearing things. He no longer has any doubt.

That singing that echoed down the halls of the Abyss? That’s Yuri. He’s certain of it.

It took Ashe a while to realize but once his memory clicked, connecting his past and present, he couldn’t unhear it. That is Yuri’s voice, without doubt. And now it isn’t the sound of Yuri’s voice keeping Ashe up at night — the singing itself is too soft and muted to disturb anyone, more like a lullaby anyway — what keeps Ashe up are the thoughts rewinding in his head.

Yuri, huh?

For some reason, Ashe remembers a different name for the purple-haired boy of his childhood days. Of course, by now, he doesn’t have even an inkling of what the name could have been — it’s been nearly ten years since he’s seen that face, heard that voice.

Yuri hasn’t changed at all — at least on the surface. He still holds himself with the same cocky stature, cuts his hair in the same messy and uneven layers, talks in the same snarky casual tone. Yuri is exactly as Ashe remembers him, except his eyes. His eyes are hard like diamonds and sharp like steel. His eyes are unbreakable, eyes that can hold a stare against death without wavering.

Whatever happened to him anyway?

Ashe sighs, turning to the cooler side of his mattress and forcing his mind blank and his eyes shut. Ever since coming to the Abyss, Ashe has had trouble sleeping. He’s not sure if it’s the lack of a sun-moon cycle or the lack of answers to the questions that keep his head spinning.

He hasn’t been able to approach Yuri either. Ever since the moment he realized _why_ Yuri looked so familiar and ever since Yuri affirmed the facts for him, Ashe hasn’t been able to meet Yuri’s eyes.

And now Yuri’s voice haunts him through the night… singing a lullaby like he always used to…

Ashe turns in his bed again, attempting once more to get comfortable. Only a short two seconds pass before he exhales sharply, snapping his eyes open.

No, this isn’t sustainable. Tonight, he will muster the courage to talk to Yuri.

There is nothing and no one else to disturb. All the world is quiet in these hours. It would just be Yuri and him — good. Ashe has always felt safer under the cover of night anyway — always more at peace when he didn’t have to worry about his shadow giving him away.

He closes his eyes, counting down from three before he throws off the blankets from his body. He stands to his feet, pulling an extra sweater over his body before setting his way out of his room and out of their quarters. He follows Yuri’s voice down the street, until he turns the corner and finds Yuri’s dimly lit figure at the end of an alleyway.

Yuri sits on one of the crates, leaning back on his arms and looking up at some undefined space up in the sky — if that’s what they called the high ceilings in the Abyss. His left leg swings to the beat of whatever melody he continues to sing. Ashe looks on from around the corner, quiet as in his former life.

Eventually Yuri’s sing diminishes into a hum before quickly dissipating into silence. Yuri’s eyes slide over to look in Ashe’s direction, and a small smile perks at the corner of his lips.

Yuri is as perceptive as ever.

“You’ve never been able to sneak up on me,” Yuri remarks. “Some things never change, huh?” Then his voice lowers. “You suspicious of me?”

Ashe steps out from hiding, coming into the alleyway. “Sorry…” he apologizes. “I didn’t mean to make you think that I didn’t trust you. I just couldn’t sleep… and I heard your voice.”

Yuri turns his face down, as if embarrassed. “So you caught me singing, Ashe Lonato,” he replies, then making eye contact again. “I guess you must be here to tell me to shut up.”

Ashe swallows down his nervousness, forcing himself another few steps forward. “No, that’s not it,” he says, picking at his fingers instinctively. “I just… I just thought I would talk with you.”

Yuri glances at Ashe’s hands for a moment, noticing Ashe’s tick, before the smile on his lips widen. He taps the side of the crate with his hand, inviting Ashe to sit next to him. Ashe takes the invitation, sitting carefully at the very edge of the crate. Yuri scoots over to give him space, but Ashe doesn’t come any closer, choosing to stay half-seated.

A few moments pass. Yuri shifts, crossing one leg over the other.

“I must admit, this is the quietest conversation I’ve had in a while,” Yuri teases. “Although—"

“What happened to you?” Ashe blurts. It comes out a little angrier than he expects.

Yuri raises an eyebrow, and Ashe immediately looks away, shooting a quick apology.

“Sorry,” he mumbles. “I don’t usually interrupt.”

Yuri takes a second before answering. “A lot of things happened to me,” he replies. “You’ll have to be a little more specific.”

Ashe rephrases. “Where’d you go?” He tries again. “I mean… before coming to Abyss.”

“I was at the Officer’s Academy.”

“Before that.”

“I was with Count Rowe,” Yuri replies. He then tilts his head forward to try to meet Ashe’s downturned eyes. “But you already knew that. In fact, you knew me even before I was adopted.”

Ashe nods. Silent, because the words are caught in his throat.

“So that’s not your question, is it? Not _where_ did I go, but—"

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ashe finally asks. He takes a quick breath and turns his head to look at Yuri. “We were both on the streets before you got adopted by the Rowe family … and that day you went to their House… that day you wanted to have dinner together. You said that as long as I brought the bread, you’d take care of everything else. And that night, I waited for you. I got so hungry after waiting an hour — I just figured you were late or got yourself into some trouble. And even though I was so hungry, I only ate half of the loaf. I saved the rest until you’d come back.”

“And I never came back,” Yuri says then.

“No. You didn’t,” Ashe affirms, feeling old feelings rattle in his chest. “And I was so worried about you… I thought something had happened to you! I went looking for you — asking everyone I knew when they last saw you. No one knew anything. Weeks past. I never found you.” His voice rises here. “I thought the worst! You know… boys like you… they get kidnapped and… I thought that’s what happened to you.”

Ashes inhales, finding his breath collapsed between the weight of his words and his heart.

“I couldn’t forget you. I _wouldn’t_ forget you. The older kids told me that these things happened — people disappeared and were never seen again. All I could do was wish the best for you in my thoughts and move on. Survival was more important, not grieving,” Ashe continues. “Eventually I did forget about you. It might have taken me an entire year. At that time, I was suddenly adopted by Lord Lonato and my life completely changed in front of my very eyes.

“Then one day walking down the streets with Lord Lonato, I saw _you_. I couldn’t believe it! It was a big day for you. You were being sent off to the Academy. And you had the biggest smile on your face.” Ashe looks back at Yuri. “You were completely fine!”

Yuri’s face now carries a deep frown. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “That was inexcusable of me to do.”

Ashe blinks. He shrugs, letting his past emotions wash over him. “I don’t know. This was such a long time ago, and we’re at a difference place. You don’t need to apologize. I don’t need it. Maybe I needed back then, but I don’t really care for it right now.”

Yuri observes him quietly, contributing nothing more to the conversation. Eventually, the silence grows loud, but somehow, Ashe doesn’t feel discomforted by it. It is late however, so Ashe stands up from the crate to get back to his quarters. His body feels light as he hoists himself back to his feet.

“That’s all I really wanted to say,” Ashe tells him. “I’ll…” He considers the words for a moment, before turning his body and mumbling the rest out. “I’ll see you around, I guess.”

Before Ashe takes a step, Yuri swallows quickly. “I didn’t want to tell you,” Yuri suddenly starts, “because I didn’t want you to think I was just leaving you behind.”

Ashe holds his breath. He wants to listen and understand Yuri, but he doesn’t want to open this box of feelings from his past all over again… not when he isn’t sure he’s completely forgiven him.

All that talk about him not needing the apologies? Well it was just that. Just talk.

“By the time I met you, I was already working on getting adopted by the Count. I had a plan, and I was getting close to him to curry favor. He gave me some money for me to run errands, and I made sure that he knew I was promising and that I was more than just a ‘street kid’ or ‘son of a whore.’ I was just trying to survive and make ends meet. I wanted to get me and my mother to a better place. I wasn’t planning on looking back. But then…” Yuri pauses for a moment. “Then I met you and…”

Yuri looks up at him, as if trying to find the words. Another moment, however, and Yuri’s eyes are back to the ground.

“Do you remember the day we first met?”

Ashe genuinely doesn’t remember. He shakes his head. “No, actually.”

Yuri smiles. “Of course, you don’t. For you, it was just another day of helping another person in need. You saw that I was bleeding — I must have gotten into a fight or something — and you tore off your sleeve to bandage my wound,” he reminds Ashe. “I never forgot that. Your kindness and generosity. Everyone on the street was always trying to harm me or take advantage of me.

“Then I met you, and I realized the world maybe wasn’t all that bad after all. I hung around, and… we grew closer, I guess,” Yuri continues. “I let it happen. I let it happen even though I knew I was going to leave.” He looks at Ashe, eyebrows furrowed and lips narrow. “In the end, I didn’t have the heart to even tell you. I guess after all of that, I still left you behind.” He takes a breath. “I’m sorry, Ashe.”

Ashe’s voice comes out a little cracked. “It’s fine. I understand. I’m just glad you’re doing well now. Things seemed to work out for you.”

Yuri suddenly takes Ashe’s hand, holding it tight. Startled, Ashe’s heart leaps uncontrollably.

“No, that wasn’t right of me,” he says. “I want to make it up to you.”

Ashe breathes in and out slowly, trying to quell his flustered heart. He shakes his head. “Really. It’s fine. I promise you. I… I’m glad that we’re on the same team right now. I’m glad we’re on the same side again.”

Ashe looks at Yuri, making eye contact to emphasize his honesty. He isn’t just saying this. He _is_ glad. He _is_ glad that Yuri is alive and doing well. He _is_ glad that he can see Yuri again — that he can see his face, hear his voice, laugh at his jokes again.

Only when Ashe is this close does he realize that Yuri’s eyes are not as dark as they look from afar. Yuri’s eyes are a soft, gentle lavender, and Ashe thinks he can see straight into Yuri’s soul.

“Alright then,” Yuri accepts, letting Ashe’s hand go. Ashe’s hand swings back to his side. “But you have to promise me that we won’t become strangers again. I’m not planning on leaving you ever again.”

“Oh, okay,” Ashe quickly replies, unsure how else to respond. After another silent second, he awkwardly starts his way back to his quarters. “Uh… good night!”

Yuri nods. “Good night,” he replies. “I’ll catch you tomorrow.”

Ashe offers a nervous chuckle, waving, then stepping away. Before he turns the corner, Yuri suddenly says a final few words, projecting his voice down the alleyway.

“Remember when I used to sing you to sleep?” Yuri asks.

Ashe doesn’t turn around, but he smiles. “Yes,” he replies. “Of course.”

Yuri says nothing in response, but Ashe can hear him return the smile.

That night when Ashe returns to bed, he has no trouble sleeping. His eyes fall closed to a lullaby.

**Author's Note:**

> as per usual, you can find me in the trenches: [twitter](https://www.twitter.com/napsbeforesleep)


End file.
